


Toss the Dice

by Spookaburra



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: M/M, Silly, sexy dice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 02:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30098955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spookaburra/pseuds/Spookaburra
Summary: “Spank.”“Go on…”Spy’s eyes glimmered with mischief as Sniper rolled the other die around in his hand with a smirk. There was almost something thrilling about the luck of the draw, the uncertainty that came with rolling a pair of dice. Perhaps that was why, when Spy had suggested playing a game as a fun way to introduce sex into the evening, he had been so eager when Sniper had offered up a small velveteen pouch cradling two plastic cubes. Already his body warmed pleasantly at the prospect of Sniper’s palm coming down on his ass, and he was certain that their evening would be a good one.In which Sniper and Spy assume they're using sexy dice, but nothing they roll makes sense and they have a fun time anyway. Rated T for implications of sex, and a brief mention of them doing the do near the end.
Relationships: Sniper/Spy (Team Fortress 2)
Kudos: 15





	Toss the Dice

**Author's Note:**

> Another ask inspired fic, this one a bit longer than the others. It's also a bit more silly than sexy. Sorry to anyone who wanted legit sexy dice, this one's played for laughs.
> 
> The ask in question:  
>  _Imagine Sniper and Spy trying to use sexy dice but failing miserably as every roll doesn't make sense_

“Spank.”

“Go on…”

Spy’s eyes glimmered with mischief as Sniper rolled the other die around in his hand with a smirk. There was almost something thrilling about the luck of the draw, the uncertainty that came with rolling a pair of dice. Perhaps that was why, when Spy had suggested playing a game as a fun way to introduce sex into the evening, he had been so eager when Sniper had offered up a small velveteen pouch cradling two plastic cubes. Already his body warmed pleasantly at the prospect of Sniper’s palm coming down on his ass, and he was certain that their evening would be a good one.

The sound of plastic hitting the floor raised gooseflesh on his arms.

“Go on.” he demanded once more, a lusty husk already seeping into his voice.

“…lips.”

Spy arched his brows slightly, uncertain that he’d heard correctly.

“Pardon?”

Sniper gestured to the dice on the floor, smirk shifting into an entertained grin.

“Spank lips. That’s what it says.”

A smile crept onto Spy’s face as the words were repeated. It was a bit silly, and it didn’t exactly match what he’d expected, but it was amusing all the same. A small part of him was disappointed at having missed out on a good spanking, but he hummed as if giving the idea some actual thought.

“Not quite what I was hoping for, chér. Roll again.”

“You sure? Could be fun to give this one a go. I could spank your lips real good, I’ll bet.”

Spy rolled his eyes in good nature at the joking tone.

“I’m sure you could, but let’s save something that adventurous for another time, hmm? Roll.”

With a soft chuckle, Sniper retrieved the dice from between them, shaking them up in his hands, and even blowing on them for good luck. Spy shook his head at the action, a smile still on his face, and Sniper tossed the dice back down, letting them clatter against the floor until they finally fell silent. He peered over, and snorted out a quick laugh before reading the results aloud.

“Eat, clothed.”

Spy gasped in faux shock.

“How utterly filthy! No, we absolutely must roll again, I would never be caught doing something as vile as that!”

“It _must_ be bad if _you’re_ not willing to do it.”

“Oh hush.” He leaned over to swat at Sniper, but only ended up batting uselessly at air as Sniper leaned back and away from the attempted assault. “Let me try.”

The dice were slid across the floor, over to him. No time was wasted, as Spy tossed them out immediately, allowing them to bounce, and roll until they stilled against Sniper’s feet.

“Suck…”

“Promising.”

Sniper rather suddenly cracked up as his eyes cut to the second die, and Spy’s curiosity got the best of him. He crawled across the floor, and took a look himself, suddenly wondering what could be so amusing that Sniper had actually lost his composure.

“Hair!”

The two men erupted into laughter, and neither one was entirely sure if it was because of what was written on the face of each die, or if it was simply because of the improbability that they’d have luck this bad. Spy held his face in his hands as his shoulders heaved, and Sniper was forced to lean on Spy for support, or risk falling over. It was a good few minutes before the two were stable enough to speak again, and Spy wiped tears from his eyes as he took in deep gulps of air.

“Where did you get these, Bushman, they’re simply _wonderful!_ ”

“I just found ‘em in some magazine! Bloody hell, this is one of the best ideas you’ve ever had, mate, we've got to use these more often.”

“Should we keep going, or cut our losses?”

Sniper seemed indecisive for a moment. On one hand, the lingering promise of sex was tantalising, and he was always eager to lay Spy out and have his way. On the other, he hadn’t laughed this hard in a long time, and genuine fun was something that didn’t come around too often on the base. In the end, his lust won out, but not without a compromise.

“Tell you what. We’ll have us one more roll, and if it’s shit, we’ll just do whatever the action bit says. How’s that sound?”

Spy nodded his agreement, and picked up the dice, eager for the final results. He made eye contact with Sniper, who gave him the go-ahead, and the dice were thrown once more, clattering against the floor. Even before they stopped, the two men couldn’t keep themselves from snorting in an attempt to keep their chuckles under control.

“Spank.”

It seemed they were back to the start. Sniper got a grin on his face, and looked up from the second plastic die.

“Well?” Spy inquired, curious. He wanted it to be a surprise. He couldn’t bring himself to look.

“Feet.”

“ _Good god!_ ” Spy cried out, erupting into another fit of laughter, with Sniper right behind. The physical part of him wanted to be irritated that its pleasure had been postponed, but his mind did its best to push the frustration away. At the moment, he just wanted to admire the beauty of what had happened in front of him.

Four times they had rolled, and four times the dice had let them down. He wasn’t even one-hundred percent sure that the dice were from the same set, as none of the words on either one seemed to match any of the words on the other. It seemed like he could roll them a million times and never get one that would fit, and yet somehow, he wasn’t as upset as he felt he should be at his evening’s fun, ruined. In a way, this was better, and much more entertaining than what he’d hoped for, and if the breathless wheezing that came from beside him was any indication, Sniper shared his sentiment.

By the time they were done, neither one could breathe, and even after they had put the dice away, their evening was filled with random bouts of laughter. It took them longer than they’d anticipated, but they did, finally, undress, though even with Spy laid out on the bed, Sniper’s hand being brought down against his ass and thighs, every once in a while, Sniper would pop him on the feet, and the laughter would begin anew. It was fun, they both agreed once it was all over, and lighting a cigarette, Spy tilted his head back to sigh.

“We really must do this again very soon.”

“You free tomorrow?”

Spy grinned.

“For you? Always.”


End file.
